First, all condolences to Warren’s and any who has lost this way.
Some say ‘gayness’ is a birth gene; others say it is a choice. Since Mr Warrens son killed himself, this is addressed primarily to they who say the young man chose this path. Is it possible then, that a number of reasons have contributed to this ‘choice,’ and if not so chosen, could this tragedy have been prevented?
Perhaps a young man does not have the validation of his father’s love, so he goes elsewhere for the natural affection he desires, which would be equally true of women. There is a disconnect between parents and children which left unattended causes a stunted growth.
Maybe Mr Warren was so busy tending to other sheep, that he did not have time for his little lamb. Maybe pastor Rick will look back and say ‘yes, I failed in fatherhood.’ Then again, he could say, ’I have searched the archives of my mind, and the depths of my heart, and yes, I was a good father, giving nurture, love, reassurance, acceptance, understanding, compassion and an unconditional resolve to ‘love at any cost.’
Remember, we are speaking to they who say ‘gayness’ is a choice, so these questions must be addressed to the choices that are NOT made. In this instance, what choices did Mr Warren make that helped his son form these opinions that he was so adamantly against?
I have known men who by virtue of a particular job could not attend their sons ball games, science fairs, music recitals, camp outings, soccer practice, well you get the point. To a tender child, this could be emotionally devastating. He has no clue as to ‘economy,’ but he does have a clue that maybe his dad doesn’t ‘love’ him, especially when all his friends Dads are present.
In a garden, much attention is needed to grow plants in a certain direction, and if not nurtured, may turn into a useless field of weeds. In this case the ‘gardener’ takes full responsibility for the health of the plot.
So a son ‘chooses’ this way or that, and can we not admit that these choices are in proportion to his perception of what a garden should look like? If he was not shown the way, how then can he be accused? Which is worse, his ignorance or another’s negligence? Fairness is the word for the day if ‘choice’ is the factor, so no stone should be left uncovered in seeking out reasons ‘why.’ It will do no good to avoid these hard questions.
Matthew Warren was at wits end. He knew what his Dad preached against, and he was torn because he thought something was ‘natural’ to him, yet anathema to others he loved. Suicide must be the ending of a mental battle that we cannot know. Granted, there could have been medical issues, involving drugs or therapies, depression, but ultimately, I can assure you, Mr Warren is thinking he just did not do enough to possibly prevent this.
As for me, I do know that it must be an impossible situation why individuals end a life, and can only guess why. In any instance, the utmost of care and respect should be shown for they who bereave.